The Fifth Element

The Fifth element is a really old movie by Milla Jovovich and Bruce Willis, set in a futuristic setting where taxi cabs fly and there are holiday resorts in space. It’s a very noble way to display our future and probably based on the premise of the advancement of our technology etc……

But we don’t exactly know what is going to happen in the future or how the future will look. We don’t know anything about the light at the end of the tunnel, we’re just hoping it’s not a train.


The big blank space in your life that you try to fill out by the decisions you make. The way this space is coloured in and shaped, depends on the type of decisions you make. Decisions about the future are the really hard part: the “serious-big question” – part where the answer can’t be found in Google’s search box.

These are decisions that can only be made by you. You will mull it over for a few days, ask some friends for advice, you will consider all the information at your disposal and maybe realize there is more than one answer and maybe all of them are right. In the end you try to make this decisions based on all the consequences you saw playing out and then choosing the one you felt like you can live with……

That’s the problem about these decisions; you don’t know what you’ll be able to live with in the future. You don’t know who you’ll be five years from now. Sure, fundamentally some things never change, and a leopard never changes his spots, but be honest we still change our minds constantly about the newest yogurt trend, exercise routine, work place, home etc. As much as we are creatures of habit, we are also not.

That’s what makes these decisions so hard because you feel like you have no idea how this decision is going to turn out in the future, and what if you made the wrong decision and you can’t go back….. STOP. STOP plaguing yourself to try to guess what the world will look like and how you will feel a few years from now, because you can’t know. STOP falling around in the “big blank space”. The only thing we have (as that age-old corny tradition goes) is NOW. There is a reason they call it the present.

In the end no matter what you consider and how full and confused your brain is, when you make that decision you still want to get that feeling like you did the “right” thing… That comes from your gut and heart. They operate on what they know and feel NOW. So listen to them, they only way you will feel like you know what you’re doing is when you make a decision about what you feel now.

Sure look at the future, and ask yourself if your true feelings about “now” are logical and rational. But TRUST yourself and who you are NOW, so that when you take a decisions in the NOW, you trust your NOW self-enough to make decisions about the future.

Like William Ernest Henley once said

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul

Take the present firmly in your hands and try to make the best of it. It’s the only way you’ll feel like you did anything right.

(This post is attributed to the “The size of now” post on “Muddy River Muse” and a kind-hearted blogger Shelah, who helped me realize how
important the power of the present is.”


The size of now

Great piece on how our fear of the unknown reflects on the decisions we make. Great advice for a stuck 22 year old trying to learn the “art of getting her shit together”.

Muddy River Muse

The future is a very big place.

I know this to be true, because I have spent a lot of time there– typically getting lost in the big-ness of it.

It’s an easy place in which to get lost, in part because there are no reliable maps. Geographically speaking, the future is akin to those oceanic margins that cartographers of old so helpfully labelled “Here be Dragons.” Indeed, there may well be dragons. Or baby unicorns. Or giant radioactive sea slugs. A big problem with navigating the future is that, not only is it immeasurably big, it is also many. If I start from the point in time where I stand right now, I can see a multitude of possible futures, each one uncharted, each one spinning off into infinite combinations and permutations that shift and sway with each forward step.


Granted some of those possible futures are more…

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I had a really big problem this morning, actually I have had it for the last two weeks of my life…..

I walked through the doors of my place at 04:00 this morning.

I walked through the doors of my place at 04:00 this morning, after a spur-of-the-moment decision at 23:00 to go get an ice-cream at the convenience store. This ice-cream was eaten on a hill in a car overlooking the town falling asleep in the hollow bellow, watching all the lights glitter like stars. It was a GREAT moment to be alive. How many of us can say we’ve had ice cream at 23:00 on a hill next to the road leading out-of-town?

I was supposed to walk through the door at 01:30 am, after the ice cream was safely tucked into my belly, the town lights had lost their magic, and the conversation had gotten to that point where the silence said everything the words couldn’t. Instead I ended – up walking around town, on the coldest night of the winter so far. Laughing, skipping to stay warm, feeling my hands go numb. Another GREAT moment to be alive, if you’re like me who’s stitched together with maps, magic and randomness.

I walked through the doors of my place at 04:00 this morning, and it’s a problem because, I walked through those doors so late because of a person who isn’t part of my “house-with-the-white-picket-fence” idea.

This problem it seems is something everything young person contemplates at some point in their lives. Who are you supposed to spend the rest of your life with? The question has recently sprung up into my being, making it difficult to think about anything else, than “I’m supposed to make a choice, but how do I know I’m making the right one?”

When you’re little, all you dream about is becoming “big”, of being like your older sister who’s allowed to put on make-up and go to parties…with boys…. You also want to wear heels, and to your own thing, make your own decisions, don’t want anyone telling you what to you, and yet now that I’m standing knee-deep in this situation, I’d give anything for my parents to be able to tell me what to do just like they’d tell me to eat my vegetables when I was little because it’s good for me.

When you’re little, and you’re wishing you were “big” too, you only think of the grandeur that comes with being grown-up. But nobody tells you growing-up also means that you’ll have to make life changing decisions on your own, that no one can decide for you, and that you have to live with the consequences. You watch your Disney and teen fiction movies, read “Sweet Valley High” or “Twilight” and believe that someday you’ll just meet someone and you’ll just know that this is your “knight in shining armour”. No one tells you, it’s more like you’ll be kissing a lot of frogs, trying to figure which ones turns into princes and even then – Is he the right prince for you?

No one tells you that you first have to go on a few dates before you can make any sort of judgement call. No one tells you that once the butterflies fly more slowly and you start knowing exactly how he’s going to kiss you, you have to care enough and work really damn hard to keep the fire going. No one tells you, that being in-love doesn’t last forever and that then the real test starts. No one tells you that you could be dating someone for three years, imagined a life with them, and then suddenly one random day, life knocks you down asking you to think hard and to think again – Do you really love this man like one should? Does he fulfill you to the point of who you are? Can you, with your busy job and interesting people still want to go home to him, night after night because you want to, and because he’ll always be more interesting than anyone else you meet?

These are the really hard, “big” questions that no one else tells you about. I thought I’d just have a blast in collage, maybe meet a man, get married. . . .

Now, here I am wondering how the hell you decide these things when you don’t know what the outcome will be? Here I am in after three years, wondering if my white-picket-fence-guy will ever randomly suggest that we should go have ice – cream at 23:00 and if he doesn’t if I can live with it? I know that a relationship is MUCH MORE than just randomly going for ice cream. I have this perfect specimen of what every girl wants. A taller than me, dark-haired man who’s majoring in engineering, who makes me laugh always and makes me coffee whenever I ask, who accepts me for exactly who I am and with all my mistakes, who gives freely and generously with all his heart, who remembers to sometimes bring me flowers on our anniversary, and mostly enjoy whatever I suggest we do together. We get along well, never fight, we have the same and our own friends, all our age, we’ve had all our college years to grow together, study, laugh, party together, a whole sort of life, that I could see blossoming into something more permanent one day.

But then this dark horse arrived on the scene. A dark horse who remembers I am made of maps and magic. Who wants to take me out to dinner just because I did well on a test (even though I always do). Who tells me exactly what he sees in me, and that If I’m brave enough to jump he’ll be there to catch me. A man who doesn’t just like everything I suggest we do, but also has his own suggestions. A man who has an opinion about things, but also a man who I am not sure of, a man my gut is still not definite about. A man whom without all the security has made me stop to consider this situation…. Why? What does this mean?

Decisions, I could make now that influence the rest of my life. How do you make these life changing decisions at twenty-two and know you’re doing the right thing. There are so many things to consider, and who even know what the real definition of “LOVE” is?

How do you choose who you are going to love and wake-up to for the rest of your life? After all these years of trusting your gut, you suddenly don’t know what to do. Just 22 – Young, still going to be out in the world soon, focussing on my career, living my own life, could still meet a dozen people…. So how do you know and how do you choose?

How come being 22 feels so young and old at the same time?

And I guess this is where you learn the “art of getting your shit together”

Cover me crazy

Everyone complains about getting older: wrinkles lining the eyes, metabolism slowing down, needing more sleep…. But like with everything else in life there is a plus side too. Getting older is really nice in the sense of knowing who you are, what you want and where you are going. The teenage urgency to fit in, and be “mainstream” disappears into the knowing that the general population can accept you for who and what you are, and that it can even be appreciated.

You reach that point in life where you get….comfortable. You have a person in your life who seems to fit into the “one-day” picture you have in you head. You feel like you’ve met all the people your going to meet in this small town and that you know exactly which friends you can call for a good time, and which you can call to bring over hot chocolate and tissues.  You know your own weak and strong suits. You know which places you want to go and visit when you have enough money. You know which issues grates you to the bone, and what makes you happy. You feel in control and like it’s a kind off summer bliss all year round…. Until that one random day after all this time

Life suddenly screams at you loudly and shakes you down to your core, asking you if you can actually defend those beliefs with good reason. Life challenging you to THINK about what it is you really want and if you want what you’ve got. It’s a big ask for most people who enjoy new experiences but mostly still want to go home and recline in that well-worn chair that moulds perfectly to their body, even if their could be a new chair that sits even better.

I recently had life on my case trying to make me look in the mirror and face the question marks written in the margin of my eyes. Apparently when one contemplates big life changing decisions and need time to think YouTube becomes a closer friend – watching “funny cat videos”, “fail” compilations, “X-factor USA auditions”, “how to” tutorials and random movie clips. One of the things that also came up was “covers”, and that lead me to a revelation (apparently YouTube does have some insights)………

There are some songs that you just don’t like, and when they come up on the radio you turn the volume softer, until you hear a cover of the song: Sung in a different way by a different person, it actually makes you want to dance, sing along or turn the radio up. So, I remembered that I simply forgot everything in life is about perspective. Which glasses you choose to wear to view the world, or problem or challenge.

Posting my a few of the covers I enjoyed, hoping they will make you turn the radio up on your challenge or problem and make you face that mirror without fear.

P.s. Covers posted aren’t of songs I didn’t like, I just really loved the different take on the original song.

1. XO by Beyoncè covered by John Mayer

2. Dark horse by Katty Perry covered by Megan Davies

3. You’re the one that I want by Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta covered by Angus and Julia Stone

4. Nick of time by Bon Iver covered by Justin Vernon

5. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons covered by Daughtry

6. New York State of Mind by Billy Joel covered by Glee

7. Landslide by Fleetwood Mac covered by The Dixie Chicks

8. Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray covered by Miley Cyrus

9. All I want by Kodaline covered by Ellie Goulding

10.  Let me love you by Neyo covered by Jacob Artist